$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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