Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize