guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
