You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
