fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
