omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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