hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
