Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
