Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
