If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
