i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
