8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize