were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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