fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
