Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize