I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
