You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
