College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
