Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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