Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I will pee on everything he values.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
