We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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