Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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