So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
