let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
