Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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