I wanna bring you to show and tell
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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