he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize