so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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