I hate all girls vehemently.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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