i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
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was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
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Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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