I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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