so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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