I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
you made out with another girl for some wings
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
