you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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