I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
