I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
