That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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