Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
