Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
