how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
