he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Randomize
