If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
