I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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