Im at strip club and am horny
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
