I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
