Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
