how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I intend to get homeless drunk
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
