Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize