you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
