i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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