she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize