It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I want her autograph on my taint
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
