Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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