I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
