Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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