He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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