nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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