I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
