It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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