yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Randomize
