Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
