Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
