so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
