It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
