You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
