we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
