So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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