If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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